How Intended Parents Can Support Their Surrogate?

The surrogacy journey is a highly emotional and unpredictable process by all means. It doesn’t have to be daunting to become a parent through gestational surrogacy, but it may feel like that when you filter all the details the internet has to give. The two main pillars of the surrogacy process are the intended parents and the surrogate. But how intended parents can support their surrogate to make her feel cared for?

The surrogate mother carries the child for the intended parents and hands them the baby, once the baby is born. Upon positive embryo transplantation into her uterus, the surrogate is solely responsible for the child’s wellbeing. So, her well-being is directly related to the baby.

For most surrogates, the payment comes at the end of the list. Being a surrogate isn’t easy. To be a surrogate she must meet the strict requirements. She needs to adapt to her setting. She needs to make both her body and lifestyle changes. It also imposes stringent lifestyle requirements, tasks, and a surrogate mother’s daily routine. She’s responsible for the welfare of another human after planting an embryo in her uterus. So, the surrogate is not just here for the money. She is a proud woman who wants to make a childless couple happy by offering her womb.

There are many ways in which a surrogate mother supports your dream. So, it is also your responsibility to support her when she might require.

How Intended Parents Can Support Their Surrogate?

Intended parents can support their surrogates in many ways. To know about how you can support her, read below.

#1. Trust your surrogate

Once a surrogate comes in contact with would-be parents and starts the procedure, remember just one thing – trust her the most with the child’s health. You have to trust her with the legal documents, with her lifestyle that whatever she chooses, will be good for the baby, and most importantly trust her with the child’s health. If you trust her, she will feel more confident and keep going.

So, if you know a surrogate and are ready to appoint her as a surrogate mother, ask the surrogacy agency to give insights about how the surrogate will feel comfortable. If you are hiring a personal surrogate, ask her for feedback about your involvement. Then, tailor your involvement in her life according to the feedback given by her.

#2. Make her feel your Presence

This is the most important thing you can do to make your surrogate feel that you are together in this, she is not alone. Your presence means a lot to the surrogate. It is not just the physical presence even the virtual presence can help you to maintain your presence. Here are a few of the things you can do to make your surrogate feel your presence –

• Talk to her more often – If you are in town, meet her personally or if you live far apart from your surrogate, go for Skype or telephone calls.
• Join her for the appointments – You can join her for the ultrasound appointments, sonography appointments, and other appointments if you are in town. If you are not in town, make sure you ask her about what doctors said and how is life going on, once she comes back from the appointment.
• Respond promptly – Make sure you respond promptly to her texts, messages, or emails.

#3. Physical Support

Every surrogate needs physical support from the intended parents. But, how much that support will depend on the requirement of each surrogate. This requirement may differ from one surrogate to another. However, if you are finalized with the surrogate and the embryo is transplanted in her uterus, you must provide her physical support. If she is on bed rest, you may provide her additional physical support such as –

• Bring her food while you are in town.
• Deliver the groceries to her house.
• Provide her the massage services so that she may not feel discomfort.
• Help her with child care.
• Help her with the housekeeping.
• Help her to manage the routine tasks.

If you don’t know whether she will like it or not, just ask her for her requirements. You can always ask her or the matchmaking manager to help you out with her physical requirements.

#4. Emotional Support

Surrogacy is an emotional journey both for the intended parents and the surrogate. So, if you want, you can support your surrogate emotionally. It is a small step but it goes a long way in maintaining her interest in the pregnancy and the baby. Here are some of how you can provide her the emotional support –

• Respect the time and effort she is putting into pregnancy
• Listen to her with empathy
• Share your tips and suggestions to overcome any anxiety or obstacles
• Encourage her throughout the process via text or email.
• Praise or appreciate her for what she is doing for you
• Contact her often to let your surrogate know that you are thinking about her.

If you don’t know what she needs just simply ask her the emotional requirements she might expect from you. Also, your match manager will help you out while supporting her as required.

#5. Act of kindness

Small gestures of kindness always feel soothing to the gestational carriers. Even if you and your surrogate mother live far apart from each other, the small gestures will make sure the surrogate that you are with her no matter what. So, here are some simple and sweet acts that will make your surrogate feel loved –

• Deliver her favorite meal to her house.
• Offer to babysit her child.
• Send her fresh fruits and flowers.
• Send her some items that would pass her time while bed rest like DVDs, snacks, a warm blanket, etc.
• Compliment her more often.

 Conclusion

If you are not in the town where the surrogate lives, make sure to fly down to your surrogate at least two times before the delivery date.

Make sure you just support her. Care for her without interfering in her life. A happy surrogate is a surrogate who often feels supported.

If you’d like to learn more about IVF, Egg Donation, or surrogacy services globally, check out the rest of our website at Complete Surrogacy. We offer legally secure and affordable surrogacy consulting services for FREE.

Our team has over 13 years of experience facilitating surrogacy arrangements, egg donation, and serving as an advocacy resource for infertile couples and LGBTQ individuals seeking to build families.

Our founder and chief surrogacy consultant, Neelam Chhagani, passionately helps couples struggling with fertility challenges. Since starting our surrogacy consulting agency in 2013, we’ve helped welcome over 500 babies for intended parents nationwide.

Our team includes experts from diverse backgrounds with leading reproductive attorneys, professionally trained top fertility doctors, former surrogacy case managers, experienced and kind surrogate mother and egg donor coordinators, mental health professionals specializing in infertility counseling, and a logistic support team to assist you in your chosen surrogacy country.

For more resources on IVF and Surrogacy, browse our other web page- IVF Conceptions.

FAQ: How Intended Parents Can Support Their Surrogate

1. What is the role of intended parents in supporting their surrogates?

Intended parents play a crucial role in supporting their surrogates throughout the surrogacy process. Intended parents need to maintain a healthy relationship with their gestational surrogate and provide emotional and practical support.

2. How can intended parents establish a healthy relationship with their surrogate?

Building a healthy relationship with the surrogate begins with open communication and mutual respect. Intended parents should be transparent about their expectations and demonstrate their commitment to the well-being of their surrogate mothers.

3. What are some ways intended parents can support their surrogates during the surrogacy journey?

Intended parents can offer support by attending medical appointments, providing financial assistance, and expressing gratitude for the sacrifices made by the gestational carrier. It is also important to be understanding and compassionate throughout the process.

4. How can intended parents maintain a strong relationship with their surrogate?

Maintaining a strong relationship requires ongoing communication, empathy, and a genuine interest in the well-being of the surrogate. Intended parents should strive to foster trust and demonstrate their appreciation for the dedication of their gestational surrogate.

5. What should intended parents consider when creating a surrogacy agreement with their surrogate?

When creating a surrogacy agreement, it is essential for intended parents to clearly outline their expectations, responsibilities, and legal rights, while also prioritizing the well-being and autonomy of the surrogate.

6. Can intended parents benefit from seeking guidance from a surrogacy specialist?

Seeking guidance from a surrogacy specialist can provide intended parents with invaluable support and expertise throughout the surrogacy process. A specialist can offer guidance on maintaining a healthy relationship and navigating potential challenges.

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